Geisha Sushi Bistro - New Orleans, LA

This place was overwhelmingly so-so.

Some of the rolls were unique, with ingredients including fried coconut shrimp, almonds, and mango.  We ordered:

• Crunchy Roll
• Hawaiian Girl Roll
• Geisha Kiss Roll
• King Cake Roll
• Crouching Tiger Roll
• Hello Kitty Hand Roll

We made the mistake of ordering the Geisha Kiss Roll despite it being rolled in cucumber instead of seaweed.  Considering our cucumber-cucumber experience at Miyako, we really should just never order anything with cucumber ever again.  We´ve had our fill.

The crunchy roll was as fine as a boring blow job.
However the place was overpriced, the rolls were small, and the further along the meal we progressed, the more bland it all seemed to taste.

Little Tokyo - New Orleans, LA

1340 South Carrollton Avenue
New Orleans, LA 70118

We went here on accident, lured in by their private karaoke rooms.  You would think, "with a name like Little Tokyo, it's got to be gross," and you'd be right.  The food was, in fact, pretty bad.  There were no unique or surprising rolls, and the standard ones were definitely below average. 

I feel like it's hardly worth listing what we ordered, it might as well have been:

• Play-Doh Roll
• Plastic Roll
• Stale Mashed Potato Roll

I think we actually got:

• Crunchy Roll
• Special Eel Roll
• Rainbow Roll

Good thing we weren't really hungry and didn't order more.
However, the private karaoke room was a lot of fun for Khya's going away party.  Almost made the sushi forgettable instead of terrible.

Sushi Brothers - New Orleans, LA



1612 Saint Charles Ave

New Orleans, LA 70130

Sushi Brothers on St. Charles is super delicious.  It has even been suggested that if I didn't have such an extreme emotional connection to Shogun, this might be my new favorite.  I'll let that thought marinate.

We started off, as we always do, with 2 bowls of Miso soup.  I only make note of this because the Miso was quite unlike any I've had before.  It was creamy and wonderful.  And the portion was about triple the normal portion size we usually see for soups.

We ordered:

• Cruncy Roll
• Yami Yami Eel Roll
• Special Brothers Roll
• Calamari Crunch Roll
• Bye Bye Katrina Roll

We normally order more than that, but the waiter advised against it, rightfully so.  The rolls were large and wonderful.  Even the Crunchy Roll was overstuffed with goodness.  The calamari was unlike any sushi I've ever had.  I was expecting fried calamari, but instead it was steamed, giving the roll a very interesting texture.  I would go back to Sushi Bros in a heartbeat.  I have no complaints whatsoever.

All I'm left wondering is WHY would anyone go to Miyako or Hoshun for sushi when Sushi Brothers is right across the street?!

Kanno - Metairie, LA

Kanno California Shusi Bar is, without a doubt, one of the most adaquate sushi places at which we´ve ever eaten. The sushi is above average, but above average in the sense that Sarah Palin has an above average education. Not exactly somthing to be proud of, but they do rise above most of the field, even it if it just because of the failure of the public school system.

We ordered:

• Crunchy Roll
• Spider Roll
• Protein Roll
• Eel something
• Rainbow maybe?

The Spider monkey roll was hard to eat because of the spider-like shape of the roll (note: I don´t mean difficult to eat on a manual level. What´s difficult about it is remembering it´s not a spider, it´s a crab.) but the inside was deep fried, warm and delicious.

The crunchy rolls were wrapped in rice stickier than Christina Aguilera looks, and was by far tastier than I´d imagine she tastes. Good, but not great.

The protein roll was not wrapped in rice, but soy paper. They basiclly stuffed it with the inside parts of a crunchy roll - always a good idea. I like to do that to myself at every oppertunity. Stuffing my insides with crunchy rolls here was a plesant experience. They were above average, but, again, I think that´s because most places just don´t make sushi very well. The service was adaquate.

Overall this place is reminiscent of a below average blowjob - it´s not amazing, but it´ll get the job done, AND comes with a very satisfying ending. I supposed, aptly so, that not everyone will get to experience an ending such as the one we got. If you´re lucky, and the owner likes the look of you, and the stars align properly during a solar flare intense enough to send gamma radiation to the earth, you just might be treated with the frozen fudge squares of godliness. These things are little frozen fudge squares that take like orgasams. Seriously. Not everyone gets them; we speculate that it has to do with secret Yakuza ties and an attempt to please a sun god.

Tsunami - Baton Rouge, LA



100 Lafayette Street
Baton Rouge, LA 70801


I'm in Baton Rouge for a conference.  The first night we attempted to dine at Tsunami, across the street from our downtown hotel.  Despite it being a Tuesday night, the place was packed, and we were advised we needed reservations, otherwise it would be a 1 - 1.5 hr wait.  We ate elsewhere.


The second night of my trip, I gathered my coworkers, booked a reservation, and finally ate at Tsunami.

I should start by saying the ambiance is beautiful.  It's on the top floor of the Shaw Center for the Arts, and has a beautiful view of the river and setting sun.* 

We ordered:

• Caterpillar Roll
• Crunchy Roll
• Dragon Roll
• Green Monster
• Ragin' Cajun
• Transvesbite Roll
• Spicy Tuna Roll
• Philadelphia Roll
  

They were all good.  Except the Dragon Roll.  They can keep that one.  It looks lovely but was completely flavorless unless submerged in soy sauce, after which it tasted only like the soy sauce you chose to douse it in: Light Soy Sauce, or Tabasco Soy Sauce.

I need to point out a few things:

1. The Crunchy Roll was shrimp, avocado and Tsunami sauce.  NOT softshell crab, like I usually expect when ordering a roll of that name.  It was pretty good, don't get me wrong.
2. Green Monster was the first sushi I had ever had with fruit!  Delicious.  The sweetness of the fruit was very subtle and quite perfect.  Here's the description: snow crab, cream cheese, coconunt shrimp, cucumber topped with avocado, kiwi and strawberries in a plum sauce.  Mmmmmm...
3. Ragin' Cajun was fried alligator in the roll, topped with crawfish and sauce.  Wow.  Spicy but delectable.
4. Transvesbite was on the specials-of-the-day menu, and reminded me a lot of the Pink Ladies I like so much at Nagoya.  The insides weren't quite as perfect, but the outside was also deep fried, giving it that illustrious texture I enjoy so much.

All in all, quite enjoyable.  Not too pricey.  Friendly wait staff.  Lovely view.  Good, innovative sushi.  Their wobsite claims they have a location in Lafayette, too.

*There is also seating available out on the terrace, but we opted to eat indoors.  It's August--in Louisiana--and therefore at least 200°F outdoors around 8pm.

Shogun - Metairie, LA



2325 Veterans Memorial Boulevard
Metairie, LA 70002


Shogun´s the best. 

I´ve been going to Shogun regularly for about 26 years, and together we´ve been going for about 9 years.  We´ve never once been disappointed.  
Due to our extreme loyalty to this place, we´re friends with both the owner and manager and never wait more than about 10 seconds to receive hugs and be seated.  

Sitting at the sushi bar is always a great experience.  Not only will the sushi chefs talk with the patrons and banter with each other, they will also make up sushi as they go for you to try, in hopes it´ll be a hit, based on the other rolls you´ve ordered.
We usually order:

• Toro (sashimi)
• Philadelphia Roll
• BBQ Eel Roll
• Crunchy Roll
• Crunchy Roll
• Crunchy Roll

The roll names are unpretentious and descriptive.  The ingredients are always positively, extremely, remarkably fresh.
And the crunchy rolls are orgasmic.

Miyako - New Orleans, LA



1403 St. Charles Avenue
New Orleans, LA 70130


Miyako is terrible.

I had never been there before but the fact that their Metairie location closed down years ago should have been a warning sign.  We only went because 1. we had a Groupon for it and 2. one of my coworkers was raving about it.

The service was incredibly slow and the wait staff never introduced themselves, effectively leaving us to have to flag just any passerby down in order to get refills or any food at all.
The sushi arrived after an abnormally long wait, and was... disappointing.  We ordered:

• Lion King Super Roll
• Avocado something
• Rainbow Roll
• Pink Lady Roll
• Crunchy Roll

The crunchy roll was suprisingly good.  Yes.

All the other rolls had excessive amounts of cucumber in them and were very poorly assembled.  After the first one fell apart on route from table to mouth, well, we let it slide.  But this kept happening roll after roll.

We waited and waited after our plates were cleared, and we were finally able to flag someone down to bring us the check.  I was at least glad for the $25 Groupon discount.

Nagoya - Hammond, LA

Nagoya´s good.  Especially the Pink Ladies.

We´re in Hammond often so we go to Nagoya a lot.  The service is always excellent and the sushi is very good. We usually order:

• Pink Lady
• American Dream
• Rocky Roll
• Amazing Roll
• Crunchy Roll

We´ve also had the BBQ Eel and Salmon Roll and a few others.  The Pink Lady is by far my favorite.  The texture is amazing.  The outside is somehow deep fried yet the inside has rice and crawfish and is delicious.  

The crunchy roll is sub-par, but edible with enough soy sauce.

Once they tried to tell us we were ordering too much, but now they know us well enough to know we´re experts.  The mixed drinks are good, too.